Recall Notice

I think I may have posted this one before, but I’m too lazy to search and see.

Even if I had, it’s so good it’s worth posting again.

RECALL NOTICE!

The Maker of all human beings is recalling all units manufactured,regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart.

This is due to malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units.

This defect has been technically termed “Sub sequential Internal Non-morality,” or more commonly known as S.I.N., as it is primarily expressed.

Some other symptoms:
1. Loss of direction
2. Foul vocal emissions
3. Amnesia of origin
4. Lack of peace and joy
5. Selfish, or violent behaviour
6. Depression or confusion in the mental component
7 Fearfulness
8. Idolatry
9. Rebellion

The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory authorised repair and service free of charge to correct this S.I.N. defect.

The Repair Technician, JESUS, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no additional fee required.

The number to call in all areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R.

Once connected, please upload your burden of S.I.N. through the REPENTANCE procedure.

Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, JESUS, into the heart component.

No matter how big or small the S.I.N. defect is, JESUS will replace it with:
1. Love
2. Joy
3. Peace
4. Patience
5. Kindness
6. Goodness
7. Faithfulness
8. Gentleness
9. Self control

Please see the operating manual, the B.I.B.L.E. (Believers Instructions Before Leaving Earth), for further details on the use of these fixes.

WARNING:
Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction voids any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded.

For free emergency service, call on JESUS.

DANGER: The human being units not responding to this recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace. The S.I.N. defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven, so as to prevent contamination of that facility.

Thank you for your attention!
GOD

PS. Please assist where possible by notifying others of this important recall notice!

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