PC James Bond script

Ace of Ace of Spades HQ has written a very funny ‘script’ for a Bond scene updated to be politically correct in all it’s glory. Thanks to Digital Brown Shirt for the link to that one.

An excerpt:

M
Good morning, 007.

BOND
Good morning, ma’am.

M
I’m quite sure I don’t need to brief you on the day’s events.

BOND
I got my fill on the radio over from my flat. Dreadful business.

M
Indeed. The Empire has been attacked. We need your… singular talents.
(snaps a button; a picture slides up revealing a COMPUTER MONITOR, upon which is displayed SURVEILLANCE SNAPSHOTS of Al Qaeda terrorists)
They call themselves “The Secret Al Qaeda Organization of Europe.” They are dedicated to killing as many British civilians as possible. Tanner has been liasing with MI-5; he can provide you with a full breifing.
(beat)
I want you to find them, 007. I want you to pick up their scent, hunt them down, infiltrate them…. Your mission, 007, is to find out–

BOND
If SPECTRE’s behind them?

M
— “Why do they hate us?”

BOND
(blinks silently)
What?

M
It’s of the most vital urgency that we understand why they hate us.

BOND
Well… okay, I suppose. Get inside your enemy’s head. I see. As Sun Tzu said: To destroy your enemy, you must think as he does.

M
Who said anything about “destroying” anyone? What kind of loose talk is that?

BOND
Well, I just sort of assumed…

M
Well for pity’s sake don’t. We’re not that sort of organzation, 007. We don’t just run around like cowboys gunning down whatever black hats we’ve deemed villain.

BOND
Sure we do. It’s pretty much all I’ve done for twenty five years.

M
Not anymore. We are dedicated to the proposition that all conflict is the result of misunderstanding, and that all misunderstandings are presumptively our fault. It is your mission to terminate those misunderstandings — with extreme predjudice.

BOND
Ah. I see where you’re going with this. When you say “misunderstandings,” you mean terrorists.

M
No, I mean misunderstandings. I want you to communicate with them, honestly and openly. And a little grovelling wouldn’t hurt.

Storm Photos

Thought you my readers (the very few I might have so far) might be interested in looking at some great storm pic that were taken in May at Bunbury, which is 180 kms South of Perth here in West Aussie. Ironically, though it was here in WA that the photos were taken, it was my niece in Queensland who sent them to me. Thanks Liz. The thumbnails are clickable for a larger picture.

Why I believe …

Let me state up front that I am a Christian of the so-called born-again variety, and according to the Bible there is no other type.

(Joh 3:3) Jesus answered and said to him, Truly, truly, I say to you, Unless a man is born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.

(Joh 3:7) Do not marvel that I said to you, You must be born again.

(1Pe 1:23) having been born again, not of corruptible seed, but of incorruptible, through the living Word of God, and abiding forever.

To those who are not born again who may be reading this, the above means that we must be born again by the Spirit of God. Before this happens we are spiritually dead and blind to the truths of God.

I believe the Bible is literal because it simply does not make sense any other way. There is plenty of evidence in nature, for instance, for instantaneous creation of the world. One of the best is still the old question “Which came first the chicken or the egg?” I still manage to piss off the occasional athiest/evolutionist with that one, as they can’t come up with a logical answer. The answer is obvious though, that the system of reproduction of bird and egg had to be created instantly to work.

I will post more on reasons why I believe in the God and Christ of the Bible in future posts, but for now it’s late at night and my eyes are drooping..

Getting started

Well, here goes. At this stage I’ve no idea whatsoever what I’ll be writing about, but I’ve seen how good some of my fellow bloggers are at this, so I guess time will tell. Or even whether I’ll be any kind of a frequent poster. First I’ve got to think about some ideas for posting, but I’m not going to worry about it.